Comfortably numb

The first day - it was exciting. The first week - Oh my goodness!

The first fortnight - there's nothing like it. The first month - it's a celebration of likeness like never before.

And suddenly, it's all over?

What happened to aimless messaging and calling? What happened to those 'just-like-that' meetings? And if you say you're being yourself, what was it when we first met?

Who're you trying to fool!

Is it me who lacks it all?
Or is it just you, who's already had enough of it all?


Just saying "Main aisa hi hoon re!" doesn't pronounce you "not guilty" for the past.

Tell me what should I do, to get rid of what seems to last!

All I see happening is my becoming numb, comfortably, while you're busy with the rest;

Not quite sure, how will I check this ever-increasing unrest.

A whole new experience called...

What makes a trip memorable? I recently learned that it's not expecting the expected.

Public gatherings are not my cup of tea, as 'n' number of years have proved, time and again. This one was different. I'm not sure if I was meant to enjoy it 'cause the entire setting was totally against me. Strange place, strange setup and surrounded by strangers was I. But the story of my chuddie-buddie taking the first step with the girl he wanted accounted for so much happiness that everything seemed Home.

This one day long journey to Delhi was one of the most memorable periods of my sane life. I could live the joy I've seen others live on meeting their loved ones. I could feel the excitement on attending an event dedicated to someone very close. My trust in relationships was reinforced. I was a very detached individual before this, now I feel more responsible.

Meeting people you treasure, you care about, you'd want to live your life for, makes you more of the person you ought to be. If this is what life is all about, I want to visit Delhi every weekend. Another very important thing - the city I haven't really held in great regard brought me so much happiness, I'm never going to underestimate anything now.

Azadpur metro station is probably one of the least interesting places to visit in the capital, but you'd want to ask me what's so special about it to mention it here. And Delhi, to me, was beautiful 'cause of Connaught Place (CP). Now CP is more beautiful, you know why?

Home, truly, is where the heart is. And now when two more people await you, it becomes all the more urgent.

Who doesn't like to be surprised, and pleasantly at that! I had my moments a fortnight ago. I should've known why, against all odds, this visit could materialise. But not realising it made it so special.

Now I know, the best parts of a journey are the halts. Plan one soon, if you like to unexpect the expected.

I'd love to be a fool again.

Three... Two... One... Cuckoo Nooyer!

Pretty stupid of me, I couldn't see it coming. Not even after a series of wonderful events I've enjoyed over the past, few days. How could the new year's eve be any different! Well, actually, I was just trying to follow that age old mantra of not uttering/wishing/believing that something would happen till it actually happens, trying to keep it sacred, away from evil souls. I wasn't free from my share of doubts, though.

It all began with a pretty dull opening to the day. I missed my morning tea, workplace was pretty uninspiring with lesser number of people. I, unwisely, had to eat something which, after a few fiery exchanges with the atmosphere, left my stomach a little upset. And to top it all, I was not sure how good (or bad) my evening is going to turn out. There was a storm churning inside that had already made peace with me.

Was I being naive or was I being wise? Was I over-excited or had I made myself too numb to such things? Was it the notorious me inside, gearing up to take charge or was it the sophistication bathed, nice chap, laying back?

After a forgetful "Happy New Year... Bye" at work the journey back home seemed to last an eternity and ended way too soon. By then, I'd readied myself to accept whatever comes my way. And gladly.

What followed, made history. It's right here in my personal history book. It doesn't have too many chapters but this one is right up there, amongst the most cherished. And will stay there. I've added three more names to my 'Acknowledgments' page, each for entirely different reasons. One, although we argue all the time and the new year's wasn't any different, gave me that cushion to keep at ease with the other two. One tends to do that very often, without either of us realising it and that's what makes One special. Two has, very quickly, become one of the most important people I have. When Two is around, you like to flirt... uh-uh... flirt with yourself, romance with yourself and let yourself spoil. You start to like yourself. Last, and dare you say the least, Threeeee... added that "We've just met but I've known you for a long time" kick to the neat vodka. Why else do you think we went biking at five in the morning! The word 'Special' redefined itself that night.

We youtubed and went to bits. There was a special performance by Two, Three and Me. We did a ball-dance lookalike and the original Ganpati number. All this, while One was capturing everything in the oh-so-expensive, brand new mofo. Click click click... and lots of clicks. There was also this out-of-this-world, so delicately-soft, delicious chocolate cake. Hey Baker... I owe you for that! We also encountered a "spiderman!!! spiderman!!!" only to discover later that it was one of us. Caught five men peeing on the road, red-handed... which left Three asking for more.

I never believed an unplanned occasion could be so enjoyable. Thank you guys.

Oh, and, about the new year... here's an excerpt from my secret, little conversation with this lad...

Me [01/01/10 00:00:10] : Hey... are you here?
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:00:13]: Yes! Do you mind?
Me [01/01/10 00:00:16]: Haha... trying to be funny? We all have been waiting for you.
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:00:21]: Then why can't you just whisper instead of yelling out loud! I've somehow manged to sneak in, unnoticed.
Me [01/01/10 00:00:27]: Oops... I'm sorry. So how're you planning to be?
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:00:32]: That's a secret. I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to.
Me [01/01/10 00:00:37]: What do you mean you're not allowed to?
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:00:40]: We aren't allowed to be predictable like you guys. You go mad every once in a while when one of us turns up. But none of you know where we are, what are we upto and when we fade away for the next.
Me [01/01/10 00:00:47]: Well... Uhhh... Have you seen the "World's most pathetic dance" video?
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:00:51]: I have to go.
Me [01/01/10 00:00:53]: Hold on... please... just one, last thing. Are you going to be anything like '09? (a li'l bribe, under the table)
TwentyTen [01/01/10 00:01:00]: (smiles, turns and rushes away)

Your predecessor seemed like it was here to settle some old scores. Your smiling and rushing away leaves us with a lot of hope that scares us out of our skin . But then, you know, a huge chunk of us believe that this one was the best new year's eve ever. I had the best new year's ever too. That is something! Who knows what you, strange bunch of twelve months, have in store. You're the last of the decade. You're the year divisible by ten. One hasn't seen something like you for a long time. The last time it happened, Ameesha and Hrithik were on a beach where the former kept asking the latter to keep saying "Pyaar Hai" (Kaho na... Kaho... Kaho na pyaar hai... Kaho na... Kaho... Kahokahokahokahoasfauekvhniushfiua).

Welcome to the world TwentyTen. Behave and be good!

"Bhaiya... ek desi dena..."
"Kaunsa?"
"Santra!"

You don't know how it feels... to be me!

Finally... I'm back! It feels so good to be here again... like an e-home for me, this! So, I've made it here, but, as usual, I'm not sure what I'll be writing on... Let's see...

The Election Commission, recently, barred Sanjay Dutt from contesting the 2009 Lok Sabha elections, thanks to his illustrious career in criminology. He is sharing his knowledge over and over and over (oops... toppled) again. Most of us thought Munnabhai might work his magic in the real life too, but then, come to think of it, he doesn’t even know whose photo we have on our currency notes. He needs a Circuit for that! Duh! Time for us to pursue rethinkology!

Talking about rethinkology, I think I should get married. Mmm-hmmm! That probably is the last ditch effort and the trump card too that India can use to stop Pakistan. Though we’ve gotten rid of our conventional practices to quite an extent, boys my age still tie the knot or at least think about it (I'm not trying to hint at their desperation). We don’t get our right girl in a matter of 2 days, you know, like we do in the west (or should I say Wild Wild West!)… so responsible parents start looking for potential bahu contenders pretty early. I wanted to say that I’m ready, yes, I’m ready to marry. But I’m only ready to marry either Mr. Zardari’s or Mr. Gilani’s daughter (if any). Yeah, I'll marry her and ask for dowry. The dowry would be "World Peace”. Well thought of, nay! No… No, no, no… these aren’t inflammatory statements made to excite communal hatred. Please don't chargesheet me. No NSA please!

Mahi and Bhajji have also been under fire for missing the Padma Shri awards. "National awards yaaa... how can they miss it!!!". Hue and cry, clamour of the crowd, booo-hoooo-hoooo, maarroooo maarooo... bhishooom dhishooom! Arre yaar... the awards were scheduled a couple of days before the IPL (I Prefer Lucre)... practise kaun karega! Perform nahi karenge toh joote maroge. The media says that they were shooting ads... ask them, the media, if our heroes had committed the ad people before the dates of Padma were announced. If yes, howzzat for commitment!!! And have you ever asked the award itself, how does it feel? Huh? I spoke to the two Padmas after the ceremony how they were feeling on retaining their freedom, one of them (I couldn't recognise who) said, "We're very happy to get to stay back. There are a few others of my family here who met the same fate. So I, my other sisters and my cousins are planning a celebration, maybe a picnic, this weekend."

And then, in the same ceremony, you had Mr. Action Kumar being rewarded with one of those Padmas for two big achievements - 1). getting unhooked, like never before, on national television by his wife, who had a twinkle in her eye when she did that... I don't exactly remember the denim brand but I suppose it was Lewives (more like giving it all to your wives). 2). For being F.I.R.ed for '1'. Mahi and Bhajji maybe didn't expect the awards and were probably shooting an 'unzipping' act.

And finally... a friend is going away. I haven't known her for so long or so much to feel this sad, but now I know that you don't really need to know someone for so long or so much to feel this way. If there is one thing that I want to do right this moment, it is to not let her go. It's 0210 hours on Tuesday morning and I could drive down all the way, 15 kms to her college, rob her bags and run away before anyone could even yawn. She's being mean, very mean. How can she just... go away! Just like that!!! I uhh...

I've had enough!

Goodnight!

ATMs are so good

I've never been so out of money.

Other than being indebted to a couple of friends, it was also a time for my wallet to stay empty. And by "empty" i mean absolutely empty. Not even a reasonable amount of change inhabiting inside.

I also noticed that my self-confidence was rock bottomming, never so close to absolute zero. Is money the only thing that matters? Absolutely not - they tell me. But...

Are the two related - The amount of money in your pocket and your self-confidence?

I feel they are, especially when you're sitting in a restaurant and wanting to hog.

I've never as much wanted an ATM to be a part of my family.

SAY NO TO CASHLESSNESS!

Hey, I've been... uh...

This is what happens when you start assuming things... 

...(not long back ago) i asked a friend "How have you been?"

He answered - "Not much."

What? You haven't been much? Why would you want to be any more? Aren't you enough already? How much more of you should we be subject to?

He assumed that I’d ask – “What’s up?”, "Sup?" or "Wazza?" or something like that.

Please stop assuming things and making an ASS out of U and ME (ASS-U-ME). Start paying attention. 

Start Listening!

COME ON BABY, SING!

“…for the love you bring won’t mean a thing, unless you sing... sing, sing, sing”

Ever wondered what that one possible thing could be which can keep you busy for an entire day? For the love of it, I can even say it can keep you busy for an entire life, let alone a day. Singing! Yes it is singing. All of humdinger’s previous posts have been written after a personal experience of each of them. So you can rest-assured that all the typing has been “O.K. TESTED” before being splashed on for reading.

Somewhere within oneself, everyone is a singer. No one openly claims to be so, the reasons varying from person to person. Let’s not get into them. You sing, be it in the bathroom while taking your bath, while waiting for your bus, while having coffee with a friend, while thinking, while shaking your leg, even while doing nothing (like I was a little while ago) and what-have-you?

Music is what you’ve been listening to since you were 0-somethings, like your mother-tongue, which is never taught to you. It just happens. So when you’re not using your mother-tongue, or in other terms are not talking… you’re most likely to be singing or humming a fine tune and entertaining yourself.

Being a sucker for music, listening to music and singing his adored tunes are humdinger’s favourite activity. He even enjoys the ‘buffer time’ while listening to music on the internet. Singings leads to the mood-swingings :p Big-time! Just the other day while going to work, in a completely uninterested mood, he started singing “Uptown Girl”, and I bet you are shaking your leg now. And even the naughtiest of moods are submerged by “Tujhe sab hai pata haina maa”. Someone who has flunked in love can be charged up by “Dilbar mere kab tak mujhe aise hi tadpao ge, main aag dil mein laga doonga woh ke pal mein pighal jaoge” and the nostalgic nerve can be easily tickled by “Summer of ‘69”.

So high time we took out those trashed music media from those mahogany caskets and brought them back to life. As Travis rightly sung “…for the love you bring won’t mean a thing, unless you sing... sing, sing, sing”. And after sometime you’d notice the precipitous change in your attitude and in turn more control over yourself. It’d interest you how interestingly you’d be able to remote control your life according to yourself.

(This post brings out such a philanthropic side of me, nahi?)